


learning friendship through immersion

by Clare_Hope



Series: Fluency (learning friendship like a foreign language) [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, these are children in a war y'all they're not gonna be Okay afterwards!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25702414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clare_Hope/pseuds/Clare_Hope
Summary: After the final battle, Zuko continues to learn how friendships work. Everyone else has some learning to do, too. (Sequel to "learning friendship like a foreign language.)
Relationships: The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Fluency (learning friendship like a foreign language) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800565
Comments: 321
Kudos: 1009





	1. Lightning Strike

**Author's Note:**

> :D Ready for part two? <3 ~Martin

Zuko was pulled out of his sleep by a tightness in his chest and a pain throughout his torso that was making it impossible to breathe. Fear clutched him as he returned to consciousness. Every single muscle in his body hurt, sore and bruised and cramping from the damage Azula's lightning had caused. It radiated out from the burn on his stomach and reached all the way to the ends of his fingers and toes. A hoarse cry escaped him.

"Zuko? Zuko, what's wrong?" Toph exclaimed. "Katara! Something's wrong with him!"

He wanted to reassure her, but he couldn't even get a full breath in, let alone talk. Tears sprung to his eyes. His hands grasped at the sheets of the bed, trying to hold onto something against the pain.

"I don't even understand why he's  _ conscious _ ," said Katara worriedly. Her face came into view as she leaned over him. He tried to convey his panic in a look. "Alright, it's alright. Let me see if I can try to help."

"It hurts," Zuko managed.

"What's going on?" called Sokka. Footsteps approached, limping footsteps accompanied by the thump of a crutch. Was he injured? "Oh, man. Can I help?"

"Can you and Toph keep him calm? It takes a long time to heal injuries this extensive, and it'll work better if he stays still and breathes slowly," Katara instructed. She was unwrapping the bandage around Zuko's torso. The touch almost made him scream, but he didn't have enough oxygen, so the pain expressed itself by making tears pour down his cheeks instead.

"Yeah, we can try." Sokka sat down on the bed, his crutch clattering against the wall, and quickly lifted Zuko's head into his lap. Toph grabbed his hand, and he squeezed so tightly that he worried he would hurt her and forced himself to loosen his grip.

"No, I can take it, squeeze as hard as you want," Toph insisted. "I've got an earthbender's strength, I can handle it." So he squeezed. She didn't even wince.

Sokka carefully wiped his tears away as they fell. "Can you take some deep breaths?" he asked.

Zuko was  _ trying _ . It just hurt too much. "No," he rasped. "Can't, it...it  _ hurts _ , I…"

"Okay, okay, shhh. Don't try to talk, then." Sokka looked up at Katara. "Should we call for help?"

She shook her head. Cool water had pressed down on the lightning burn, and he could feel the pain in the immediate area start to fade. It didn't help the muscle spasms, though. "I just need a little time to heal it. I've been doing it every few hours, it's just going to take  _ time _ . I'm sorry, Zuko, I can't make it stop hurting entirely."

He knew that. He didn't blame her. It still hurt. Tiny, broken sobs shook his body. It felt like he was suffocating.

"Oh, hey, no, shhhh. You're going to be okay, Zuko, everything is going to be okay," Sokka promised. "C'mon, try to relax. It'll hurt less more quickly if you can calm down a little."

Calming down didn't feel like an option. His heart was beating so fast and so loudly that he could hear it in his head and feel it throb in his whole body with every pump.

"Okay, Zuko, you're panicking," stated Toph. "You gotta stay here with us, okay? Either that or let yourself pass out again, that might help too."

He struggled for air, his lungs burning, terrified. Part of him wanted to fall unconscious, but he was afraid that if he did, he would stop breathing entirely.

"You're going to be okay," Sokka repeated.

"I f-feel like I'm d-dying," whimpered Zuko, sure he sounded pathetic.

"You're not dying," Katara promised. "The lightning just caused a lot of damage, especially around your ribs. The bruising is...extensive, it's only been spreading since it happened. I'm sure that it hurts and it's hard to breathe, but you're not dying."

More tears were falling, and Sokka kept drying them off with his sleeve or swiping them away with his thumb, being careful to avoid touching Zuko's scar at all. With the hand Toph wasn't currently holding, Zuko reached up and wrapped his fingers around Sokka's wrist.

"Do you want me to stop?" asked Sokka.

Zuko shook his head. He moved his fingers so that he was holding Sokka's hand.

"Got it," Sokka said quietly, and kept wiping the tears away with his other hand.

Toph pressed close to him. "We've gotcha, Sparky." She stroked his side, petting him like one might pet a distressed owl-cat. He would have been offended, but it actually felt calming.

"I'm working on the bruising on your ribs now," Katara said. "It should be easier to breathe in just a couple minutes."

Sure enough, slowly, the pain retreated and Zuko could take a few deep, shuddery breaths. Unfortunately, that meant he now had enough oxygen to actually start sobbing.

"Shhh, shhh," Sokka said helplessly. "Katara, would it hurt him to sit him up a little?"

"No, that should be fine. Just a little, though, and don't move him too quickly. I'll try healing him again in a bit," she replied.

Zuko felt his shoulders being lifted up. He winced in pain as his injuries were jostled.

"Sorry, sorry. Here, lean back against me and Toph. You can just cry it out for a little while, that's fine." Sokka put his arm loosely around Zuko's waist.

Sniffling, Zuko pulled his hand away from Sokka's so he could cover his face. Toph and Sokka were holding him and touching him with such concern and affection. Combined with exhaustion and pain, it was all making him very emotional.

"How's the pain now?" Katara asked after his tears had stopped and his breathing had evened out.

"Um...bad," Zuko confessed. "But not as much as it was."

Her hand, cool to the touch, rested on his forehead. "Do you think you could get more sleep?"

Suddenly, like another bolt of lightning hitting him, Zuko had the realization that he had no idea what had happened after Katara defeated Azula. He gasped, struggling to sit upright.

"Whoa, hey!" Toph exclaimed. "Stay still!"

"What happened?" he demanded. "Where's...where's Aang? And Suki?"

"Easy, buddy, calm down," Sokka said. "They're fine, I promise. They went with my dad to go work stuff out with some people. Aang had some things he needed to do, and he couldn't go alone--"

"But you and Sokka are hurt so I had to stay here," Katara added.

"And I'm supposed to be keeping a low profile so my parents don't figure out where I am," Toph finished.

Katara nodded. "They're working on getting the Kyoshi warriors and the people captured during the invasion released, so it made sense for Suki and my dad to go, anyway."

Now Zuko was preoccupied with another question. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, but he couldn't not know. "What happened? Between Aang and Ozai?"

Sokka and Katara exchanged looks.

"Just  _ tell me _ ," he insisted. "Don't just...I need to know!"

"Aang didn't kill him," Katara said finally.

" _ What?! _ "

"Yeah, he took away his bending instead. Like, permanently," Toph said.

"... _ what. _ "

"And now he's locked deep down in a prison--far away from Azula, by the way, it sounds like they actually took her somewhere she can get help for all the, you know,  _ her _ stuff--and you'll never have to see him again," said Sokka.

Zuko felt a little dizzy. He leaned his head back against Sokka's shoulder. "Explain."

"I don't know that we can. I don't understand it entirely, but somehow Aang learned how to manipulate other people's energies to change their bending," Katara told him.

"He said something about a lion turtle, but I'm not sure if that was like...a fable or something that really happened," Toph chimed in.

"So Aang is...obviously really happy that he didn't have to kill anyone." Katara was looking at Zuko a little nervously. "How...um, how do you feel about all that?"

"I have no idea," Zuko said hoarsely. "I just don't know." He felt tears in his eyes again and added almost in a whisper, "I wish my uncle was here."

Sokka brightened. "Oh! Early this morning a messenger hawk came with a letter from Ba Sing Se. They took the city back and your uncle is just fine. He says he'll be here in less than a week."

Overjoyed, Zuko couldn't even find any words. Iroh was safe, and he would be here soon? It was almost too good to believe, and yet Zuko  _ could _ believe it. "Thank you," he managed eventually.

"What for?" laughed Toph. "Relaying a message?"

Zuko nodded. "And...for everything."

"Aw, Sparky," she grumbled. "Stop being so  _ sappy _ ."

He smiled. His limbs felt a little heavy, as did his eyelids. He knew he had  _ so much _ work to do, that he was going to have to clean up a hundred years' worth of disaster, but at this very moment, none of that stress was reaching him. He was surrounded by his friends. How could the anxiety get through that barrier?

"Don't fight the sleep, your body needs it to heal," Katara told him.

"I should write back to my uncle," Zuko said, doing the exact opposite of what Katara was instructing and forcing himself to stay awake. "I should…"

"We already took care of that," Toph said. "Well,  _ I _ didn't, 'cause I can't write. But your uncle and his friends all know what happened."

"Okay." Zuko was trying to find some other excuse to stay awake. He liked this feeling of having his friends sitting with him when none of them were in immediate danger way more than he liked sleeping. "Can...um, would…"

"Spit it out," Sokka said, not unkindly.

"It's...I don't want…"  _ Okay, why is this so hard to say? _ "Can you stay?"

Katara nodded. "Of course, Zuko. We'll be here when you wake up again."

"That's okay, then," he found himself mumbling, and his eyes closed.


	2. Peace and Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! It's Thursday! I only remembered this because TAZ had an episode out today! Hope you enjoy the chapter! <3

Toph hated being all cooped up like this, but at least she wasn't alone in her misery. Zuko wasn't allowed to leave the room yet, and if he got out of bed to do more than go to the bathroom or step to the window to get some fresh air, Katara would scold him endlessly. As Hakoda worked on getting all of the Fire Nation's prisoners of war freed, his kids as well as Suki and Aang accompanied him more often than not, leaving Toph and Zuko alone. Things were even crazier now that a few high-ranking Fire Nation officials were returning from the colonies (many had already sworn loyalty to Zuko and had been pretending like they never really wanted to be fighting the war in the first place) as well as some Earth Kingdom ambassadors.

Anyway, it had given Toph and Zuko a lot of time to talk and swap horror stories about their families, which seemed to be on opposite ends of the awful spectrum. Zuko's fists clenched when she recounted how she had never been allowed to make friends or be around other kids because of her parents' insistence that she was fragile and helpless in the same way that hers did when he told her about the times his father had told him that he would never amount to anything and was worse than useless.

In the middle of one of these conversations, the door burst open and shut just as quickly as Aang sprinted into the room and ducked down behind the bed. "Hide me!" he pleaded.

"What--" Toph began, but as she instinctively slid her leg off the bed to press her foot to the ground, she felt a pair of Earth Kingdom folks walking down the hallway.

"I thought I saw the Avatar go this way," one of them said.

"He seemed like he was in a hurry, maybe we should let him attend to his own business," said the other.

They were passing by the door now. "Well, he'll have to answer our questions sooner or later," said the first voice, and then they were too far down the hall for Toph to make out their words, though she could still feel their footsteps if she concentrated.

"Are they gone?" Aang whispered.

"Yeah, Twinkletoes, they're gone," stated Toph.

"Why are you hiding from them, anyway?" Zuko asked. The bed shifted as he slid over closer to Toph to make room for Aang to climb up next to them. He did so, cautiously.

"I...they've been asking me questions all day and I'm just…" Aang's heartbeat was slowing from his initial panic, but he was still jumpy. "I don't have any answers and I'm really tired," he whined. His weight flopped down onto the mattress. "And they haven't given me a minute's break since they found me this morning. I haven't even eaten!"

Toph reached for the bedside table, where she knew there was still some toast that Zuko had been too nauseous because of the lightning injury to finish. "Here, eat."

Aang took it gratefully. "More people from Ba Sing Se are arriving in a couple hours," he said around a mouthful of bread. "I just wanna have a bit of quiet before they get here. I didn't realize that  _ winning _ wasn't gonna be the hard part, it's talking to everyone afterwards that's so difficult!"

Zuko leaned forward, his heart rate jumping with excitement. "More people from Ba Sing Se? Do you know if my uncle is one of them?"

Making some sort of dramatic gesture, enough to move the mattress slightly, Aang exclaimed, "See, you too! Nothing but questions!"

"Sorry," Zuko said sheepishly. "But--"

"I don't know. Nobody  _ tells _ me anything and yet they expect me to have all the answers," Aang complained. "I know I'm the Avatar, but…"

"But you're also twelve," Toph supplied.

"Yeah. I'll be thirteen in a month and a half," added Aang. "I guess having all the answers is gonna be something I have to learn, and it'll take time. I just hope I don't mess everything up before then."

"You can't mess everything up when you've got people as smart as us on your side," Toph said, puffing out her chest and putting her chin up in a display of confidence. "The world won't know what hit it!"

"My uncle and the other White Lotus members will have answers, too," Zuko said. "And since he won't take the throne, I'm going to have to be Fire Lord, so I'm right there with you on the whole 'not having answers' thing. We're just going to have to...rely on other people for a little while."

"I'm so glad I'm friends with Bumi and King Kuei," sighed Aang. "And Chief Harnook sort of likes me, at least. Chief Hakoda definitely does. And you, Zuko! I'm gonna be friends with the leaders of all the nations, just like the Avatar should be."

"I'm just glad you're the Avatar and not me," said Zuko. "You're likeable, at least. I'm sure I'm going to make every single person in a position of power in this world angry at me within the first year of being Fire Lord."

Toph snorted. "You can't be any worse than the last one!" she pointed out.

Zuko laughed. "Okay, fair enough."

"Besides, you are likeable!" Aang protested. "We like you!"

"Ehh," Toph said. She grinned at Zuko so he knew she was joking. "He's okay, I guess."

"And I know Hakoda likes you," Aang continued, ignoring her (which, fair). "You should have seen him when some Fire Nation generals wanted to try and wake you up that first day after the war ended when you were unconscious. He stood at the door and didn't let anyone in."

Toph nodded. "Yeah. He was like," she deepened her voice and tried to mimic Hakoda's speech pattern, "'That boy is sixteen years old and just sustained an injury that could have killed him! Anyone who tries to disturb him before he's recovered and woken up on his own will have to go through me.'"

"Really?" Zuko asked.

"Well, I'm paraphrasing," said Toph. Actually, Hakoda had used more threatening language than that. Toph liked him more and more as she got to know him better. She kind of wondered if he was willing to take on a third child--she definitely liked him more than her birth father. "But he was acting real protective, definitely. He was pretty worried about you."

"Huh."

"Of course, I never had any doubts that you were going to be okay," Toph lied. (That first day had been terrifying. Zuko's heartbeat had been so weak, his breathing so uneven, she hadn't been sure that his body wouldn't give out entirely.) "You're  _ way _ too stubborn for that."

"Also, your uncle is apparently friends with Bumi. He'll probably put in a good word for you there, I'm sure. So that's at least two world leaders you don't have to worry about not liking you," Aang reassured.

Zuko was shifting his weight around like he wasn't sure he believed Aang. "I hope you're right," he said. Suddenly, he slumped a little. Toph felt it through the pile of pillows they were leaning against.

"Are you tired?" Aang asked him.

Toph wanted to tell him that was a dumb question--of  _ course _ Zuko was tired, he was injured and doing his best to heal, but also the weight of the world was kinda being placed on his shoulders, and he hadn't slept well in, well, probably a  _ long _ time but the past few nights had been especially bad. She held her tongue, though. Aang probably couldn't hear the quickening of Zuko's heartbeat every time he moved or exerted himself, or the way his breath caught in tiny sighs at the end of every sentence like he didn't have enough energy to breathe properly.

"A little," Zuko said vaguely. "Um, I'm a bit sore, mostly.

_ Ha. A bit sore. _ If the sound of his knuckles popping from how hard he clenched his fists or the grinding of his teeth when he sat up or tried to stand was any indication, Zuko was probably in a constant state of mild agony.

"Maybe we should rest," suggested Aang. "I know I could use a break. A nap might make me feel a little less overwhelmed with everything." He was being smart, making sure to be clear that it was  _ him _ who needed the nap, not Zuko. Zuko would know right away if Toph tried something like that, but with Aang, it was plausible. Aang yawned loudly for good measure. "Thanks for the toast, by the way."

"Sure, no problem." Zuko sank back further into the pillows. "I guess I could...close my eyes for a little while, too."

Toph laid down on her back and moved closer to him. She draped her legs over the top of his. "I'm not gonna turn down a good nap. Wake me if anything interesting happens," she said. She was happy to hear Zuko's heartbeat slow as he relaxed. Aang, too, was losing the nervous jumpiness he'd had when he came into the room. They all needed this, just a little peace and quiet, some breathing room in between everything that life kept throwing at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dabs* anyway Toph and Aang and Zuko are Pals <3


	3. The Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot it was Monday ahhhh! Here you go! <3

Aang woke up from his nap (and who let beds in the Fire Nation be so comfortable, anyway?) when Toph sat up and hopped out of bed. He watched her rush over to the door and open it quickly.

"Shhh, the boys are asleep," she hissed.

The gentle voice of an older man answered her. "Toph, it is good to be in your company again. Is my nephew in this room?"

"Yeah. He's asleep, like I said. So's Aang, and they both need this nap so don't wake them," Toph said firmly.

"I'm not asleep," Aang whispered, getting out of bed. He crept over and smiled hesitantly at Iroh. "Hi."

"Avatar," Iroh greeted warmly. "Thank you for taking care of my nephew these past months."

"What about me?" Toph asked with a grin. "I took care of him, too."

"Yes, I already thanked you when you came to the camp of the White Lotus," he reminded her.

"Zuko will be so glad to see you," Aang said. "He keeps saying how much he wishes you were here, and how much he needs your advice. I think he's a little overwhelmed with everything."

Iroh nodded, looking somber. "And I understand he is badly injured, too. It is a good thing I am here now, and not arriving any later." He stepped into the room. "If you kids don't mind, I'd like to stay until my nephew wakes--"

"Who's there?" Zuko mumbled, half asleep. He reached up and rubbed at his right eye. "I--" Then he gasped sharply and threw himself out of bed before anyone could stop him. "Uncle!"

"He's gonna fall!" Toph shouted at the same time that Zuko's legs gave out underneath him and he started to collapse onto the ground.

Moving surprisingly quickly, Iroh darted forward and caught him. "Prince Zuko, don't you think you should be a little more careful?" he scolded gently.

"Ow." Zuko grabbed his uncle's arms to steady himself. "I--um, yeah. Sorry. Ow!"

"You're hurt, you need to take care of yourself."

"I know, I just…" He pulled Iroh into a hug, continuing to wince in pain but not letting go. "I'm just really glad to see you," he said.

Aang put his arm on Toph's shoulder. Both of them were smiling. It was really good to observe Zuko so happy.

"I'm glad to see you, too, nephew." Iroh sniffed, then held Zuko out at arm's length to look him up and down. "Your sister and her lightning, hm?" he said as he saw the bandage around Zuko's stomach.

He hung his head. "Yes," he said quietly. "She tried to hurt Katara. I redirected it as well as I could, but I fa--"

"If you are about to say 'failed', I would like you to reconsider your choice of words," Iroh said mildly.

"...I didn't redirect all of it, and I got injured. Uncle, Azula is…" Zuko hesitated. "I want to help her."

"Yes, I know. You are right in saying so, and very strong and brave. I'm proud of you," Iroh told him.

Aang looked away, not wanting to embarrass Zuko, who was beginning to tear up.

"I just...it's not her fault that Father manipulated her into being what she is. If I could change, she must be able to also. And...and I really miss her, Uncle, I miss everything she could be. I want to help her," he repeated.

"It will not be easy," Iroh warned.

"Nothing ever is. I…" Zuko faltered. He stepped closer to Iroh and leaned against him. Even from across the room, Aang could hear his shaky breathing. From the frown on Toph's face, his heartbeat probably matched.

"Nephew? Are you alright?"

"I think I need to sit down," Zuko said weakly.

Aang wanted to rush over and help him, but it seemed like Iroh had it covered. He actually picked Zuko up like he weighed nothing and set him down gently on the bed, then sat down next to him. Zuko curled up against his side.

"Toph, let's go outside for a little bit," Aang murmured. Zuko was clearly fighting back tears, and he would probably let his guard down better for his uncle if he didn't have more of an audience. Toph didn't argue.

Aang kept his head down, hoping that anyone who saw him would think he was either busy or deep in thought. He walked quickly. He didn't know where he was going, since he hadn't had much opportunity to actually explore the palace since arriving.

"Where are we going?" Toph asked as if she thought Aang had a plan. Everyone was always asking him things like he had a plan. He  _ should _ have a plan.

He stopped in a dark corner of a long hallway and leaned against the wall, taking slow, deep breaths. This was fine. He was going to be fine. The war was  _ won _ , that was supposed to have been the hard part. And even though he was now realizing that he had never prepared himself for what came after, Aang knew that he was skilled in conflict resolution, in diplomacy, and he had many, many friends he could turn to when he needed help. So why was he so scared?

"Aang? You're shaking," Toph stated.

"I know."

"Wanna sit down?"

"I don't know."

"Cool. Sit down." She took his arm and tugged him down to sit on the cool stone floor. He sat cross-legged instinctively, putting his hands on his knees. "Tell me why you're scared," she said, no question in her voice. Aang was grateful for that. She wasn't giving him the choice to be undecided.

"I know everything is gonna be okay eventually," Aang said. "A-and things are better today than they were a week ago--we  _ won _ , and now there can be peace. But I know people are going to expect me to be the one with all the answers, and...and I'm scared they're going to see that I don't. No, I'm scared that they'll think I  _ do _ , and that they'll think of me as some all-powerful, super wise peacemaker because they've never lived in a world with an Avatar before so they don't understand that we aren't born knowing everything even if we have the knowledge of our past lives that we can access sometimes and they won't believe me if I say I don't know something and everyone is going to think I'm making excuses and I'm not going to be a good Avatar, and--"

Toph reached out and found his hands on top of his knees. "Shut up and breathe now."

He breathed. He felt like crying, but the firm pressure of Toph's hands kept him calm.

"You're a kid," she told him. "You're only a couple months older than me. Of course you don't know everything. The people who expect you to can go choke on rocks."

Aang tried to laugh. It came out more as a sob.

"Breathe," she reminded him. Then she dug into her pocket and pulled out a stone the size of her fist and placed it on the ground between them. "Push this into the floor."

Following her instruction habitually, Aang put out his hand and pushed downward. He felt the rock submit under his bending, felt it crunch downward and disrupt the smooth pattern of the floor. He felt a little guilty about ruining the stone tiling, so he pulled the rock back out and put the rest back together flawlessly.

"Could you have done that three months ago?" asked Toph.

"No?"

"Why not?"

"Because...I hadn't learned earthbending yet," he replied. "What are you--"

She held up her hand. "It took you a few months to learn earthbending, right?"

Aang was confused now. "Yeah--you were  _ there _ , Toph, you already know this."

"Shut up, Twinkletoes, I'm trying to make a point."

"...I'm shutting up."

"My point," she said, putting the rock back into her pocket, "is that you didn't know how to earthbend before you learned how to earthbend. And you don't know how to be involved in government and peace efforts, because you haven't learned how. But if you can learn how to bend an entire element, the stubbornest element, in a few months, you can learn how to do this. It's going to be hard until it isn't, until it's as natural as moving that stone."

“Oh,” Aang said on an exhale. Suddenly, he wasn’t feeling panicked anymore.

“You’ve mastered four elements. Just think of this as a fifth. Nothing you haven’t done before.” Toph patted his hand. “Feeling better?”

In answer, Aang leaned forward and hugged her tightly. He buried his face in her shoulder, wanting to express his gratitude and also his admiration of her wisdom and strength, but he knew that voicing it would embarrass her. “Much better,” he mumbled.

“Good.” She hesitated and then petted the top of his head. “Also, you should shave. You’re getting kinda...fuzzy.”

Aang laughed. “Thanks,” he said, and both of them knew he wasn’t just referring to the shaving reminder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iroh is the best character hell yeah <3


	4. Good Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you are doing well! I have discovered Animal Crossing Pocket Camp so that has taken over my entire life right now! Enjoy the chapter! <3

Katara hoped that the worried glances that she, Sokka, and Aang kept exchanging weren't noticed by the Earth Kingdom diplomats they were having a casual breakfast with. Zuko should have been here half an hour ago, and there was only so much that Aang could say to keep them distracted. This wasn't an official meeting, of course, but Zuko was supposed to be there. They had no idea why he hadn't shown up--he had been planning to when Katara talked to him last night to check how his lightning scar was healing.

Just then, Sokka made eye contact with her again. While the diplomats were distracted by a story Aang was telling them about a run-in with a tiger-falcon, he mouthed,  _ Go check on him. _

Katara nodded. Maybe Zuko had just gotten sidetracked...but still, it was better to be safe than sorry. She stood up, smiled politely, made some excuses, and rushed out of the dining room. It was a bit of a trek to Zuko's quarters. When she got there and knocked at the door, nobody answered. She frowned. Addressing a guard at the end of the hallway, she asked, "Excuse me, has the Fire Lord left his chambers today yet?"

"No, miss, he hasn't," the guard replied promptly.

"Can I...just go in? He's supposed to join us for breakfast…"

"I've been told that you, your brother, the Avatar, the Kyoshi leader, and the young earthbender girl are all permitted entrance to the Fire Lord's chamber at any time," said the guard. "You may go in."

"Oh. Thank you," Katara said. She knocked once more for good measure and called, "Zuko, I'm coming in!" She opened the door, slipped in, and closed it behind her. "Zuko, are you in here?"

His bed was empty, but the blankets were messy and pulled back like he hadn't had time yet to neaten them up. At first glance, the rest of the room seemed empty, too, but then Katara saw a dark shape on the ground behind the large desk by the window.

"Zuko?" she gasped, running to him. "Are you okay?"

When Zuko managed to look up at her, he had tears streaming down his face. His arms were wrapped around his knees, and he appeared to be making himself look as small as possible. He was still wearing his loose nightshirt and pants, though his more formal clothing was draped over the back of his desk chair.

"You don't look very okay," Katara concluded. Oh, how she wished that Iroh wasn't a day's journey away dealing with a small but violent revolt in a city to the east from some war-mongering ex-soldiers. "Zuko, what's wrong? Is your injury bothering you? Let me see, I can…"

But Zuko was shaking his head, and he refused to uncurl his body so Katara could look at his wound.

Helplessly, she put her hands on his shoulders. "Should I get someone?"

Again, he shook his head. "L-leave me alone." It didn't sound aggressive, like he used to snap it at anyone who tried to get in his space. It was more...resigned.

"No--no, I'm gonna stay." Katara settled down next to him and put her arm around his shoulders. "Try to breathe, okay? Everything's going to be okay."

"Katara," he said. He sounded panicked. "Katara,  _ I can't do this _ ."

"What? What can't you do?"

He started to answer, but he choked on a sob and began coughing.

"Easy, you're okay," she soothed, rubbing his back. "Just breathe. You're okay. You're gonna get through this."

After a minute, he got the coughing under control. "I don't know why I ever thought I could do this," he said hoarsely. "I-I'm not, I'm not cut out for this, Katara, I'm sorry. I'm going to let everyone down--" He sobbed again, putting his face in his arms.

"Zuko, no...shhh, none of that is true. Um, do you want me to get…" She tried to think. Who could help talk him out of this? "Toph? Um, maybe Aang? Or Sokka? Or, um, what's her name...Mai?"

"No, don't, none...none of them...I'm letting them all d-down, they all b-believed in me s-so…"

"Hey, hey. I believe in you," Katara said encouragingly.

That seemed to make it worse. Zuko flinched away from her. "I'm failing everybody," he whimpered.

"No, you're not. And what would your uncle say if he heard you talking like that?"

"I'm failing him, too. Again." He was somehow sobbing even harder now.

Deciding that her words were less than helpful right now, Katara stood up and pulled a blanket off the bed. It was plenty warm in this room (too warm, if you asked her), but a blanket was sometimes good comfort when a hug was too much. She wrapped it around Zuko and then sat back down next to him with one hand on his back. "You're not a failure, Zuko," she said quietly when he stopped crying so harshly. There were still tears dripping down his cheeks, but his breathing was steadier. "And you aren't letting anybody down."

Zuko pulled the edges of the blanket tighter around himself. "I'm supposed to be at breakfast with those diplomats," he whispered.

"Yeah, but it's not a big deal. Don't worry about that."  _ At least it was a casual thing and not a formal meeting _ , she thought privately. She wouldn't say that out loud, of course.

"I don't know how to do this."

"You've been Fire Lord for what, ten days? Of course you don't know how to do this, nobody knows how to do anything after just ten days," Katara said. She pulled a clean handkerchief out of her pocket and offered it to Zuko, who took it and clutched it tightly without trying to dry off his face.

"I'm not going to be able to learn. I've never been able to learn," he said. "I...I'm not even good at firebending, wh-what made anyone think I could be Fire Lord?"

Katara tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I…" Zuko tried to take a steady breath. "A mediocre-at-best bender shouldn't be Fire Lord, that's not how it  _ works _ ."

"But…" She didn't understand. "You're not...mediocre."

"Right," he said bitterly. "I'm so far below average that--"

"What? No!" Katara exclaimed, maybe a little too loudly if the way Zuko cringed was any indication. "That is  _ not _ what I said, or what I meant! What--how--"  _ How did an idea like that even get into your head? _ was what she wanted to ask. "Zuko," she said more gently. "Why do you think you're not a good firebender?"

"I...I mean, I'm not  _ terrible _ . But I'm nothing...nothing compared to Azula, even. It never came naturally to me, I'm just somehow fooling everyone into thinking I'm competent enough to be Fire Lord, and--"

"Zuko," Katara interrupted. "First of all, stop comparing yourself to your evil sister."

"It's not her fault, our father brainwashed and--"

"Yeah, I know, but for right now, she's just evil, okay? And you held your own against her, you were incredible."

"She was slipping," Zuko said. "Normally, I could never--"

Katara knew she was interrupting him a lot, but it was hard to let him talk when everything he said was wrong and could only make him feel worse about himself. "You can  _ redirect lightning _ ," she reminded him. "How many firebenders can do that?"

"My uncle can."

"...yeah. And your uncle is literally the most skilled firebender alive," said Katara.

"Besides, I couldn't even do that right this time." Zuko gestured to his stomach, where the bright scar was just barely beginning to fade amongst the mottled bruising. "And…" His hand drifted up to his face.

"Zuko?"

"What kind of firebender lets themself get burned like this?" he said quietly. "I couldn't bend for months after it happened. I was afraid of my own fire."

Katara couldn't stand it. She reached out and tugged on his shoulder so he had to turn and look at her. His cheeks were still damp, the neglected handkerchief still in his hand. "You were thirteen," she said, "and you didn't deserve that."

"I know." He didn't sound entirely sure, though. "Ozai shouldn't have done it."

"Yes, but also, it's  _ not _ your fault that you didn't stop it," Katara insisted. "You know that, too, right?"

His hesitation said enough.

"It wasn't your fault. It's never a child's fault when their parent hurts them," said Katara. "No matter what. It was not your fault." She squeezed his shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. "You say it now."

"...it wasn't my fault," Zuko repeated.

She put her hand carefully on his newer injury. "This one wasn't your fault either. You are doing your best, and your best  _ is _ good enough. You get to say that now, too."

"Katara, I…" A few brand-new tears made their way down his face. "I don't think I…"

"Say it." She was determined. She was going to make Zuko believe in his own worth if she had to drag him into self-love kicking and screaming.

Zuko sighed loudly. "I'm doing my best, and that's good enough," he muttered. His shoulders relaxed a bit as he said it.

"Good." Katara let go of him. "This is just a reminder, everything is going to be okay. Do you wanna just sit here for a while?"

"The breakfast," he said, stiffening.

"You're not going to the dumb breakfast. Sokka and Toph have probably eaten all of it, anyway. But you do have a few meetings this afternoon and it might be a good idea to have rested and calmed down before then," she suggested.

"What if the Earth Kingdom diplomats want to know why I didn't show up?" Zuko asked anxiously.

"Your injury was bothering you, you couldn't make it. And I needed to come heal it," Katara said. "Really easy excuse."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. And I actually should take a look at the wound, just to make sure it's not worse than it was last night." Katara helped him up and sat him down on the bed, letting him keep the blanket around him. The burn itself was fading, but the bruising continued to be intense. "Looks sore."

"Yeah, um...crying didn't feel great."

"I bet." She uncapped the water bottle at her waist and tried to coax the bruising to ease up. It was less purple when she finished, and Zuko was breathing easier.

"I'm sorry for freaking out like that," he said. "I don't know what happened, something just came over me. I...I try not to let myself think like that, and it works sometimes, but today it just...didn't."

"It's okay. I'm glad I came to make sure you were alright." Katara rewrapped the bandages around his stomach and sat next to him. "It's hard when people expect something from you that you don't have the age or experience to know how to do. I think a little panic is reasonable, sometimes."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Not the part about you not being a good firebender, that's just ridiculous. But it's okay that you're worried. It would be weird if you weren't."

Zuko shrugged. "I guess so."

"Why don't I go get Aang and Sokka and Toph and make our excuses to the diplomats, and then we can all hang out here until your meetings this afternoon?" she offered.

"That sounds...yeah," Zuko mumbled.

Katara couldn't resist ruffling his hair a bit as she stood up. He rolled his eyes, but he didn't duck away or protest. "Be right back."

"I'll be here."

As she walked away, she saw out of the corner of her eye Zuko finally reaching up and wiping his face with the handkerchief. She stopped herself from running back to him and giving him a hug. She knew that she could come on a little too strong sometimes and that her friends needed space as well as support. The last thing she wanted was to overwhelm Zuko when he was finally trusting her to not hide his emotions when she was around. But it was hard, when she loved her friends so fiercely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway I love Katara, what a good kid. Also! I'm mostly back on my Adventure Zone kicks right now, so if you're interested in TAZ (mainly balance still but i've been into graduation more recently), check out my other fics on AO3 and my tumblr @argonaut--keene! <3


	5. Bad Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been busy (read: playing video games with my sister and dm-ing a d&d game) today, but it's still Monday where I am so I am not late! Hope you enjoy! <3

_ The moon turned blood red in the sky above the war balloons. Sokka leapt from one balloon to another, trying to keep his balance as they crashed and burned. He had Toph by one hand and Suki by the other, and then both of his hands were empty and they were falling, he couldn't reach them. He jumped after them, screaming for Aang to swoop in on Appa and save them, but when the sky bison appeared, only Katara was riding him. She reached out and started to pull a string of water out of the ocean to catch them, but the crimson moon turned black and he heard Yue cry out. A burst of fire from below engulfed Appa and Katara. Sokka screamed. Aang flew in on his glider but it, too, caught fire and he was tumbling down as well. Meanwhile, Ozai was laughing on a distant mountain, and Azula was shooting lightning down at Zuko, and Sokka hit the ocean like it was stone, his leg shattering, and then he was drowning, the water forcing its way into his lungs and everyone was crying out for him to save them but the water was turning to lava and he couldn't move or breathe and he was burning-- _

All of the previous nightmares had sucked, but this was the first time that Sokka had woken up actually screaming. He grabbed at his chest, trying to figure out if his lungs burned because he was terrified or because he was still drowning.

"Sokka? Sokka!"

His heart was beating faster than he could ever remember it beating before.

Footsteps fell in time with his heartbeat across the floor of the room in the palace which he was sharing with Katara and Aang. "What's wrong?" his sister asked anxiously.

"I--" Sokka tried to take a deep breath. "I'm okay."

"No, it's okay, you don't have to…"

"I'm fine," he insisted, though he wanted to reach out and grab her and hold her tightly while he convinced himself that she hadn't actually exploded in a ball of fire.

Katara tried to hug him, and he pushed her away. "Don't," she pleaded. "Please, Sokka, you can't pretend that you're fine."

"I  _ am _ !" he shouted. He wasn't angry, not at her. "G-go back t-to sleep, I…" Sokka was starting to cry. He turned away and hid his face.

"You had a nightmare," Katara said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

It was too terrifying to talk about. He shook his head. He should be strong enough to protect his little sister from all of the awful things that come after war, the nightmares and the panic and the grief, but he couldn't even shield her from his own pain. She was trying to comfort  _ him _ , when by all rights it should be the other way around. "I'm s-sorry I woke you, sorry you h-had to hear that," he said between suppressed sobs.

"Don't you dare apologize, no. Sokka…"

"Where's Aang?" Sokka asked suddenly.

"He fell asleep in Toph's room. Sokka, please let me help."

Sokka hesitated. He turned back, saw the worried look in Katara's eyes, and couldn't hold back his tears anymore. He fell forward and wrapped her in his arms, feeling her breathing. "It was horrible," he managed.

"Bad dreams usually are. But you're safe, remember? Everything is okay now." She kept talking to him quietly, but he was having a hard time calming down. Fear still gripped him as the images of his friends falling played over and over in his mind. "Sokka, is there anything I can do?"

"I n-need…"  _ This is so stupid. _ "I w-wanna know everyone's okay."

"I can go get them," she offered.

"No, don't leave me!" The cry tore from him, complete panic filling him at the idea of being left alone.

"Okay, I won't! Come on, come here, stand up with me. We'll go to them. Toph's room is closest." Katara kept her arms around him as she walked with him out of the room and down the hall.

Sokka kept wiping his eyes uselessly. Why was he so scared? He  _ knew _ it had just been a dream.

Katara pushed open the door to Toph's room. She and Aang were sprawled out on the bed together, but both of them woke up as the door opened.

"Katara? Sokka? Is everything okay?" Aang asked sleepily.

"Sokka had a bad dream," Katara answered. "We're gonna come stay here tonight."

There was no time to feel any embarrassment at Katara's bluntness, because as soon as she said it, Sokka was being sat down on the bed and piled on by two twelve-year-olds. Toph was still half-asleep as she snuggled into his side. He was feeling a little bit better. The nightmare was fading.

"Is it okay if I leave you here for a minute and go get Suki and Zuko?" asked Katara. "Or is there anyone else you want to see?"

Really, Sokka also kinda wanted a hug from his dad, but Hakoda wasn't in the palace at the moment. "You don't have to bother them," he said unconvincingly.

"They won't mind," said Aang. "We can camp out here like, y'know. Old times."

"I'm going to go get them," Katara decided. She squeezed Sokka's hand before leaving.

Toph yawned. She nestled her face into Sokka's shoulder and pulled him down onto the bed. Aang followed, curling up against him. "No bad dreams allowed in this room, that's the rules, Aang knows 'em," she mumbled. "Right, Aang?"

“Right.”

“What…” Sokka sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve. “What happens if you break the rule?”

“This,” Aang said simply.

“Oh. I guess, um, that’s not a bad consequence.” All of the odds had been stacked against both of these kids making it out of the war alive. The fact that they could be here together was nothing but pure, incredible luck. Sokka tried to feel lucky. It was working, sort of.

Suki arrived a minute later. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Katara woke me up and told me to come in here. Everything alright?”

“I, uh…didn’t sleep well?” Sokka offered.

He didn’t have to say more than that. Suki rubbed her eyes and nodded, walking over to the bed and gently nudging Toph a little to the side so she could give Sokka a one-armed hug. “I wasn’t sleeping so well either,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to wake the other warriors, or I might have come wandering into someone else’s room sooner.”

"The more, the merrier," yawned Toph. "Just as long as you're shutting up and sleeping soon. Or letting me sleep, at least."

"Sorry, Toph," Suki said softly. She laid down, reaching over Toph to take Sokka's hand. He clung tightly to her. 

_ No falling off a war balloon this time, _ he told his dreamscape fiercely.  _ I would never let go. _

"I get it, Sokka," whispered Suki. "We're all okay."

He loved her so much. They were currently in the process of trying to decide if their relationship was best as a romantic one or not, but whatever they decided, he knew that he would always love her. "I know," he said. Just a little flicker of worry remained, which would hopefully go away when Katara returned with Zuko.

A very not-awake looking Zuko stumbled through the door, followed by Katara. He came right over to the bed and collapsed unceremoniously across everyone else, eliciting yelps of protest and a few giggles as they shifted around to make it so he wasn't actually laying on top of them. Sokka felt  _ much _ better now, not least because it wasn't very long ago that Zuko would never have initiated contact with them like that, and he was extremely proud of the progress his friend had made.

Toph happily gave up her spot next to Sokka so that Zuko was between them, pressing close to the firebender's warmth. Katara nudged her way between Sokka and Aang after finding a thin, soft blanket to drape over all of them, and Sokka felt the last clinging horror from the nightmare dissipate into the air.

"Doing better?" Katara mumbled, sounding like she was close to falling asleep again.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks."

"Shh," said Toph and Zuko at the same time.

"Sleeping," added Toph. "And no more nightmares. 's against the rules."

Zuko made a mildly confused noise. "Huh? Wha' happens if we break that rule?"

Sokka almost laughed as Zuko echoed him.

"This happens, dunderhead," Toph stated. "It's the whole point."

"Oh." Zuko was quiet. "Good to know."

In the morning, maybe, they would all talk about the various nightmares they'd been having recently, and maybe they would resolve to all stay in the same room for a while, just in case. But for tonight, they didn't say anything else. The pale white light of a half-moon washed over the room, a comforting reminder that even Yue wasn't lost completely. They let the sound of each other's breathing (which, Sokka reflected again, was just a reminder of how lucky they were) lure them all into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh I'm too tired to come up w something clever here. I hope you're all doing well, I believe in you, and I think you're really cool! <3 ~Martin


	6. One Step at a Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is actually my favorite chapter I've written of this fic so far, I really hope you guys like it! Also, I'm not 100% sure I'll have chapters for next week, chapter 7 is only mostly written, but I will do my best not to interrupt my posting schedule! Apologies in advance if I end up taking the week off! Love you all! <3

"What do they mean, they can't make people leave the colonies right away?" Katara demanded, her voice rising. Aang watched her nervously. Sometimes, Katara's anger could boil up until the lid exploded away from the pot. "There are thousands of refugees from the Earth Kingdom who need that space and those homes."

"The governors of the colonies don't want to displace everyone living there," Zuko told her. "They refuse to agree to dislocate their citizens until and unless we can provide places for them to live."

"Well, maybe they should have thought about that before forcing the Earth Kingdom people out of their homes and stealing their land!" Katara shot back.

"Katara, I'm not going to let the colonies stand forever, but the governors are right in one regard. We can't make people leave their homes without giving them somewhere else to go." Zuko sighed and put down the scroll that the new message from the colonies had arrived on.

"That wasn't the Fire Nation's position when they made so many Earth people refugees!" shouted Katara.

Aang gulped. Here came the lid flying off the pot.

"Yeah, I  _ know _ . I lived with the refugees in Ba Sing Se, remember?"

"So you of all people should understand how badly the refugees need to be able to return home!"

Toph put her hand up. "Zuko is just being realistic. Making the colony people leave right now won't solve the problem, not if they don't have somewhere to go. That'll just create  _ more _ refugees."

Katara squared her shoulders. "Maybe the Fire Nation needs to learn a lesson that way. It serves them right."

"Some of those families have been living in the colonies for three generations!" Zuko protested. "They have children, it's the only home they've ever known. It wouldn't be fair to--"

A glass of water on the table near Katara froze solid as she started yelling again. "Fair? You know what's not fair? There are people from the Earth Kingdom who look at their old villages and see them overrun by Fire Nation invaders."

"We got everyone out of Omashu--"

"Oh, big deal! One city! There are hundreds of towns you need to get your people out of!" Katara said.

"I  _ know _ , Katara, and we're trying to make places for everyone to come home to, but there's only so fast we can move!"

"And meanwhile, refugees are still homeless and starving," Katara pointed out.

Zuko was starting to shrink back away from her.

"Also, those governors you mentioned? And all of the officers in the army, too. They're war criminals, they're all horrible! When are you going to put them all in prison?" she asked.

"That won't fix anything," Zuko said weakly.

"He's right, Katara, locking them up won't make things better," Aang added, hoping things wouldn't escalate further. 

"It would probably make the  _ families _ of the people they've  _ killed _ feel better," Katara spat.

"I've been trying to get some of the worst officers charged, but other people in power won't go for it--judges, prison wardens, nobody. I'm trying  _ not _ to be a dictator like my father," Zuko said. His voice broke. "I have to just hope that other people will listen and do the right thing sometimes."

Katara threw her hands up and the frozen water glass shattered. "People  _ won't  _ do the right thing! Nothing is  _ ever _ going to get better if we try to put our hope into that, because the people in charge won't do the right thing unless they're forced to. Otherwise, things would have changed before now! Most people don't care about other people. We might as well give up right now if that's all the hope we have!"

"Katara," Zuko tried. He looked crushed. Aang stepped so that he was between Katara and him. "It's just going to take a little time…"

"Another  _ hundred years _ , I bet," she snarled. 

Zuko flinched as if she had struck him. "No, I...we're working as fast as we can, but change...takes time, it…"

"Just say we can all give up on any real improvements or justice and we can all move on with our screwed up lives." Tears of anger started showing up at the corners of Katara's eyes. "I'm  _ done _ waiting around with meaningless hope when nobody is willing to do the right thing if it goes against any little thing they were raised to think growing up."

"Alright, that's it," Toph interjected. “Katara, come with me.” She grabbed Katara by the wrist and started pulling her out of the room.

“What? No--” Katara began to protest.

“We’re gonna go find something to take your anger out on that isn’t Zuko,” Toph stated. “Come on.” Pulling harder, she managed to get Katara to follow her.

For a moment, Aang was torn between going after Katara and staying with Zuko. Then Zuko dropped down into his chair and slammed his head down into his arms with a groan. Aang let a gust of wind clear most of the scrolls into a pile and hopped up lightly onto the table. He sat down and put his hand on Zuko’s shoulder.

“She’s right, isn’t she? I’m not doing this right,” Zuko mumbled.

“It’s a difficult situation,” Aang acknowledged. “Sometimes, there isn’t a simple right answer. Sometimes, it’s just about trying to make sure that as few people as possible get hurt.”

“If I tried to imprison everyone who had ever been violent to the other nations in the name of this war, I’d be putting half of my citizens in prison. That...doesn’t seem like a good way to start my reign as Fire Lord. I want people to  _ listen _ to me, but not because they’re afraid of me. It’s just...I have a hundred years worth of expectation on my shoulders. I don’t know how to do this without making some people upset,” he explained.

Aang stifled a giggle. “Tell me about it.”

Zuko looked up. His mouth twitched in what could conceivably be the start of a smile. “Yeah, you get it, huh?” Then he frowned and shook his head. “I just wish Katara wasn’t one of the people I was upsetting.”

“Katara has every right to be angry at the world,” Aang said slowly. “But I think she’s angry at the situation, just like you. Not  _ at _ you. All of the injustice we’ve seen, everything we’ve all experienced...I think it’s made us all angry. We just don’t all necessarily respond to that anger in the same way. There’s going to be clashes, because that’s what happens when people who love each other don’t see perfectly eye-to-eye on every issue, but that doesn’t mean we  _ don’t _ love each other.”

“So she’s not really mad at me?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

Zuko slumped. “Okay.” He paused. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing? I...I trust you.”

Aang tried not to show how proud that made him. “I don’t think you’re doing the  _ wrong _ thing, definitely, even if not everyone’s gonna be happy with you. I think it would be a really good thing if we could get construction started right away on some new cities in the Fire Nation for the colonists to move into.”

“Right, yeah. I keep reaching out to people who might be able to do that, but it’s easier said than done to move all of the resources that were being poured into the military into infrastructure projects,” Zuko said frustratedly. “Not to mention, the Earth Kingdom and the Northern Water Tribe are requesting monetary assistance to make repairs in their lands. I can’t  _ bankrupt _ my country, or we’ll never be able to fix anything in the long run.”

Thoughtfully, Aang rubbed his hands together. “That’s a good point. Boy, this sure is a complicated world we’re trying to mend, huh?” he said, trying to bring a little humor to the conversation.

But Zuko nodded seriously. “There’s just so much to consider. Sometimes it feels like I don’t have enough space in my head to think about it all.”

“Hey, I think you’re doing a pretty good job so far. And you’re not doing it alone, remember.”

“I know. That’s pretty much the only thing keeping me sane right now,” Zuko said with a forced laugh. “I  _ also _ have to start thinking about making some orders to change the school curriculum so Fire Nation kids stop getting fed propaganda daily.”

Aang hopped to his feet and started walking carefully along the edge of the table, his arms out for balance. “Monk Gyatso used to say, the longest and most difficult road in the world is traveled in the same way as the path from the kitchen to the table: one step at a time.”

Exhaling slowly, Zuko said, “Your Monk Gyatso would have gotten along really well with my Uncle, I think.”

“I think so, too!” said Aang brightly. He reached the end of the table and leapt to the floor. “He also used to say that both journeys are worth it if there’s good food to eat at the end.”

“Yeah, Uncle would have definitely liked him,” Zuko laughed. He glanced at Aang with a grateful expression. “One step at a time, huh?”

“Yep.”

“So as long as we keep moving, we’ll be getting closer.”

“Exactly.”

“What if I can’t keep moving?” Zuko asked. He looked down at his hands. “If I fall?”

“Your friends will carry you,” Aang told him. “We’ll always be there for you.”

Zuko took a shuddery breath. “I’ll...try to remember that.”

*****

“Where are we going?” Katara asked.

Beneath her feet, Toph could feel an unoccupied, open courtyard with a flowing fountain just outside the area of the palace they were walking through. “Not far. Keep up, Sweetness.”

Katara was fuming silently now, but Toph felt the rapid pounding of her heart and heard her uneven breathing. She was angry because she felt helpless, because she was grieving. Toph understood that. But she had also understood the panic rising in Zuko while Katara had been yelling at him, and she knew that she couldn’t let her hurt him like that, even if her anger was justified. Katara just needed a different target.

“Here we are,” Toph said. She pushed Katara out in front of her.

“This is just a big empty courtyard. What are we doing here?” snapped Katara.

Unfazed, Toph pointed in the direction of the fountain. “Take some of that water and make a big frozen chunk of ice with it. With lots of pointy bits.”

“What?”

“Just do it!”

Muttering something incomprehensible under her breath, Katara shifted into a waterbending stance. The ground grew slightly colder as she formed the ice. While she did that, Toph reached down and punched the ground, shattering some of the nearby decorative boulders into nice rough lumps of stones the perfect size to hold in one hand.

“Now you gotta do this,” Toph said, picking up one of the rocks. She stepped forward, stomping down with her leading foot, and launched the rock at the ice. It made a satisfying thud and a bit of a crunching sound. “You’re gonna shatter that ice into thousands of pieces. Your turn.”

“What?” Katara repeated.

“Just throw a stupid rock!”

With a shout of frustration, Katara picked up a rock and hurled it. She hit the ice hard enough that Toph could feel the vibrations in the ground.

“Good!” she cheered. “Do it again, and keep yelling.”

“This is--”  _ Thwack! _ “--the stupidest--”  _ Thwack! _ “--thing I have ever--”  _ Thwack! _ “--done!”

Toph clapped delightedly. “Yes, perfect! You tell that ice!”

Katara panted. “Do I have to keep going?” she complained.

“Yes. Until the ice is shattered, and  _ no _ cheating.”

Mumbling something that wouldn’t have sounded out of place backstage at the Earth Rumbles Toph used to attend, Katara lifted another couple of rocks up. “I’m so sick and tired of people making stupid and selfish decisions because they can’t be  _ bothered _ to have some  _ empathy _ !”  _ Thud! _ “This world is broken and I’m tired of having to fix it!”  _ Crunch! _

Quietly, Toph stepped back. Katara was getting it now.

“All of the adults off fighting their stupid war, and they forget that we’re the ones who have to pick up all of the pieces!”  _ Crack! _ “I want to go  _ home _ !” she screamed. “I want to forget about the refugees and the injured and the orphans and everyone else that this world screwed over!”  _ Thwack! _ “I want to go penguin sledding and fishing with my brother!”  _ Crack! _ “I want to see my grandmother again!”  _ Thunk! _

Toph restocked the pile of rocks for her.

“I want my mom back,” Katara said, and suddenly she was sobbing, still throwing rocks. “I want someone to take responsibility for all of this so that we don’t have to.”  _ Crunch! _ “I want--”  _ Shhhkk! _ A significant amount of the ice sprayed in tiny shards as part of the structure collapsed. “I want people to stop hurting each other, and I-I…”

Without a word, Toph took one of the rocks from her hand and threw it at the ice. It only grazed the side of it, but Katara seemed invigorated by her support.

“I want Sokka to never have another nightmare. I want Suki to stop having to count the Kyoshi warriors every other minute to make sure nobody got taken while she wasn’t looking.” Katara’s throws were becoming less forceful, but they were still chipping away at the ice. “I want Aang to get to be a normal twelve-year-old, instead of having to represent the last of his people who were all murdered. I want you to have a home to return to instead of having to hide from your parents so they don’t basically kidnap you and lock you away from the world.”

A lump rose into Toph’s throat. She threw another stone, harder this time. A big piece of ice fell and shattered against the ground.

“I want Zuko to not have to be Fire Lord because even though he’s pretty much the only person left in the Fire Nation with a shred of decency, he’s  _ sixteen _ and he shouldn’t have to worry about repairing the mistakes of his people all on his own!”  _ Crunch! _ “We’re going to make things better!” she shouted at the air. “But I’m still going to be angry that we have to!”  _ Crash! _

The rest of the ice came crumbling down. Trembling, Katara let the final rock in her hand fall to the ground unceremoniously.

“It all fell,” she said in a small voice.

“Yeah, you did it.” The ice melted. Toph felt a bit of the water lap at the tip of her toes before it all lifted and splashed back into the fountain.

Katara slowly sank down to her knees, sniffling.

Toph knelt down next to her. “Do you feel any better?”

“I…” Katara swallowed. “Maybe. I feel less...angry.”

“Good, that was the goal.” Settling down on the ground, Toph added, “It’s okay to feel angry and helpless sometimes. When I was still living with my parents, I felt like that...pretty much all the time. When I didn’t know what to do with it, I just sort of let it live inside of me and pretended that the feelings didn’t exist. But then I would lash out, and I would hurt the servants, or the people my parents hired to watch me or teach me, and...eventually I realized that it wasn’t really their faults, and I had to find somewhere else to take control and put the anger. That’s one of the reasons I liked being in the Earth Rumbles so much.”

“I hate it when there are problems I can’t fix,” admitted Katara. “It makes me feel...yeah, helpless. Like you said.”

“It’s hard when there are things outside of your control. But there are some things we  _ can _ control, you know.”

Katara was quiet for a moment. “Like not yelling at Zuko when he didn’t do anything wrong?”

Toph giggled. “Well, yeah, that’s definitely one thing we can control. You just gotta find a better place to direct your anger so you don’t accidentally hurt someone you don’t want to hurt.”

“That’s what we did just now with the ice and rocks.” Katara took a deep breath. “Thank you, Toph.”

“Aw, it was no big deal,” Toph mumbled. She felt a little heat rising to her cheeks as Katara pulled her into a sideways hug.

“You’re really smart, you know that? And weirdly wise for a twelve-year-old, and emotionally mature,” Katara continued.

Toph stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at Katara. “How dare you accuse me of being mature?!”

Katara laughed and held on tightly despite Toph’s squirming. Toph would deny it forever, but she wasn’t actually trying to get away. She was just glad that Katara was feeling okay enough to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also oops it's after midnight so not Thursday anymore but oh well! You guys are all very sweet and I'm sure you won't hold any grudges haha <3 ~Martin


	7. Ambassador

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! thank u for being patient with me taking a break last week! i can't 100% promise to have the next chapter up on thursday, but i will do my best! <3

Toph recognized her father's footsteps from halfway across the palace. She froze in place, her breath catching.

"Uh, hey, Toph? You good?" Sokka asked.

Suki stepped towards her. "Is everything okay?"

"No," Toph said, hating the way her voice shook. "I...I think I need to hide."

Without stopping to question her, Sokka took her hand and started pulling her along. "C'mon, there's some nice big storage closets around the next turn."

"What's wrong? Why are we hiding?" Suki wondered.

"My father just arrived at the palace," Toph said grimly. They stepped into one of the small storerooms and the door was shut behind them.

"Ugh, it's dark in here," Suki said.

"Boo hoo," said Toph.

"Sorry. Why do you know about this place, Sokka?"

"I try to always know the best places to make a quick getaway," Sokka replied. "Toph, your dad is here? Why?"

"I don't know, genius, probably because he wants to have his daughter back," she snapped. She pressed herself into the back corner of the room behind some boxes. "I just felt his footsteps."

"Are you sure they're his?" Sokka said.

"Yes! I know what my own father's footsteps feel like! He came right into the palace through the front doors and he's in that room where Zuko meets all the diplomats when they arrive for the first time."

Sokka tripped over something and yelped as he made his way over to Toph and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, we won't let him take you."

"Zuko may not have a choice," Toph said miserably. "My father will say he kidnapped me, and if he doesn't give me back, he'll have made an enemy of the Beifongs. My family is powerful, we have lots of political influence. If Zuko isn't on good terms with them, they'll do everything they can to screw up his life."

"Surely if you say you want to be here, your father can't say that Zuko kidnapped you," Suki tried.

Toph laughed. “Yeah, right. You haven’t met my father. He sent bounty hunters after me and they locked me in a metal cage. I mean, it forced me to learn metalbending, so I guess all’s well that ends well, but…”

Suki swore under her breath.

"You want me to go see what's going on and report back?" asked Sokka.

"No offense, but you're a terrible liar. I'd rather Suki went," Toph replied. "And actually, I want to go listen too."

"Let me check it out first," Suki said.

Toph pretended not to be relieved. "Yeah, okay," she said with a shrug.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." Suki slipped out of the storage closet, closing the door quietly behind her.

"You okay?" Sokka asked.

Toph shook her head.

"Toph?"

Oh, right. Dark room.  _ Thanks for the do-over, spirits. _ "Yeah, I'm good. I figured this would happen eventually. I mean, I'm only twelve. It makes sense that my parents would want me back even after everything I did," she said as casually as she could.

"What do you--"

"Well, I did run away. It's not like they ever meant to hurt me, I know they love me. I just…" Something about hiding in a tiny room with Sokka made Toph feel more apt to honesty and vulnerability than she would have otherwise. "I don't really wanna go back to being locked up all alone in a fancy house, y'know?"

"You  _ won't _ be!" insisted Sokka. "You think we're gonna let them take you?"

"It's funny," Toph said. There was a catch in her voice. "I-I think I even miss them, I'd want to see them again if they weren't going to treat me just like before--worse, they'll never let me out of their sight now, never."

She felt Sokka step closer, heard him fumbling in the dark until his arms were around her.

"Why can't they understand me?" she found herself whispering.

"I'm sorry, Toph," he said quietly.

"It's not fair, I don't want to leave you all." Toph realized that she was starting to cry. She didn't care, and buried her face in Sokka's chest.

"We won't let that happen. You're not gonna lose us," he promised.

Toph sobbed a few times and sniffled. "You're a good big brother," she whispered. "I almost believed you."

Sokka didn't seem to know what to say to that. He squeezed her a little tighter.

She wasn't paying much attention and only noticed Suki and Zuko's footsteps a few seconds before the door opened.

"Hey, I brought Zuko," Suki said, ushering him into the storage closet.

There was a little  _ whoosh _ and a bit of heat, probably as Zuko kindled a flame in his hand so the three of them could see. "Toph, I'm stalling your father as best as I can, but I don't know what to say to him," he said quickly.

"I can't ask you to lie," she said.

"You can ask me to do anything," Zuko responded. "I understand the need to stay away from family who have hurt you. Of course I'll lie for you."

Toph was touched. Really, she was. But Zuko was being an idiot. She wiped her cheeks off and said, "Like I told those two, if I don't go home, my parents will say you've kidnapped me. The Beifongs can make your life miserable. Even if you lie and say I'm not here, it's not like I can hide in a palace forever. That would just be another prison, even if it has better company. I'm gonna have to go out eventually, people will see me, and then my parents will come for me."

"There has to be something in between hiding here and being hidden away by your parents," Sokka said almost desperately.

"I have an idea," said Zuko. "But I don't know if it would work."

A little bit of hope flared up in Toph, even though she knew from experience that Zuko's  _ ideas _ weren't always the most well thought-out. "Tell it to us, Sparky."

Zuko explained his plan. It was bold, a little ridiculous, and above all, expressed enough intimate understanding of the workings of the upper-class mind that Toph thought it might just work. "We'll need Aang to pull it off, though," he finished. "Does anyone know where he is?"

"I do, he's hiding from his responsibilities. As he should be. But I can find him," Sokka said confidently. "Zuko, you're a genius."

Toph bit back a grin as she heard Zuko's heart rate spike.

"Uh, y-yeah. Thanks."

Sokka hummed in acknowledgement and left.

"So my role in this will be…" Suki began.

"Leading me around and pretending like the Kyoshi warriors are basically my own personal seeing-eye lemurs and bodyguards," Toph said with a giggle. "A little bit of fawning over me probably couldn't hurt, too."

Suki tousled her hair. "I can do that."

Toph ducked away with a scowl. "Also, you get to help pretty me up if Sokka doesn't find Katara in time. If my father sees me in these clothes, with this hair, he'll never believe I'm here as an official ambassador and the Avatar's earthbending teacher."

"I can do that, too. Zuko, how long do you think you can stall Mr Beifong?" asked Suki.

"I've got servants and dignitaries rushing to attend to his every need and engage in polite and meaningless conversation, which is the specialty of these sorts of people and they could keep it up all day if they had to. On the other hand, it would be rude for me to keep a guest as important as a Beifong waiting for that long...but he did show up unannounced, which gives me the benefit of the doubt since I'm a very busy person. All things considered, we can probably get another...forty-five minutes to an hour before I should really make an appearance to him," Zuko explained.

"I can't pretend I understood why all that makes sense, but sure. Toph, you want to go get ready, then?"

"Yep," said Toph. She took Suki's arm and leaned on her dramatically, putting her other hand to her forehead. "I'm just getting into character. Do I look fragile enough?"

"I'm not getting a fragile vibe, but maybe once we put your hair up," Suki laughed. "Come on, let's get going. Zuko, you can get Aang up to speed when Sokka gets back with him. Send Katara our way if you see her."

"Good luck," Zuko said sincerely.

Toph struggled to keep still while Suki did her hair and makeup. “You’re not making me look like a Kyoshi warrior, are you? Aang’s described your look to me, and as awesome as I’m sure it is, I don’t think my father will approve.”

“Don’t worry, you look great. Exactly how a royal ambassador should look,” Suki said.

“If Zuko writes up the documents to fool my father, it’ll actually be official,” realized Toph. “I’ll have to  _ ambass _ . Is that how you say that?”

“I doubt it, but I’m not sure. There! You look lovely. Let’s just get this robe on you, here you go. Very respectable.” Suki giggled. “If I didn’t know you, I’d be a little intimidated by your whole vibe right now.”

“My vibe is always intimidating,” Toph muttered. Then she paused. “Hey, Suki?”

“Yeah?”

“I just had a weird thought. Can I ask you something?”

“Um, sure.”

Toph hesitated, not sure if this was really a question she should be asking. “Where are your parents?”

There was a long pause. Suki’s heart rate doubled, then calmed down quickly. “Well, I’m not actually sure, Toph. I never knew them. I grew up as a displaced refugee in the Earth Kingdom. It’s, um, a rough world out there, and I didn’t know how to defend myself, and one time I got hurt. And then a Kyoshi warrior rescued me, and the Island took me in. Some of the older, retired warriors treated me like their daughter, but I never knew my birth parents.”

“Huh. Are you okay with that?”

“I didn’t use to be. But then I kind of figured out...I’m enough. I’m enough, on my own, standing for who I am. I’m a whole person even if I don’t know where I came from, and that’s enough for me.” Suki touched her arm. “Ready to go?”

“...I am now,” Toph decided. She considered adding  _ thank you _ onto the end of that statement, but she figured it was probably implied. Anyway, the official earthbender ambassador to the Fire Lord didn’t need to thank anyone for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love y'all! <3 ~Martin

**Author's Note:**

> Like the first part, this story will update on Mondays and Thursdays. Hope you enjoy! I'm @hopefulqueer on tumblr, come be my friend! <3 ~Martin


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